Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Robert Davi! You should know who he is!

“Listen, Google me! I’ve done 70 films you should know who I am!” - Robert Davi

Look you know who Robert Davi is. He was born and raised in Queens, New York! He was on that show Profiler on NBC. He was a Fratelli Brother in The Goonies. (here is a scene) He was a villain in one of the James Bond films. He also once called Hollywood “…a bunch of commie, homo-loving, sons a guns.” He plays cops, thugs, soldiers, and mobsters. He was in “Die Hard’ and his character’s name was ‘FBI Special Agent Big Johnson‘. He is in movies with titles like, ‘Delta of Venus’ ‘Night Trap’ ‘Illicit Behavior’ ‘Wild Orchard 2’ ‘Legal Tender’ and ‘City Heat’. If you had Cinemax in the late 80s early 90s most likely you saw him in some movie every other day and if you were a young man you watched because you were probably going to see some tits. Cinemax owned him for some time back then. He lived in their office and would pay his rent by acting in a new movie every month. They used to loan him out the USA network on occasion. ‘Straight To Video’ was his idea. You should know this. I shouldn’t have to talk about it. Google it if you don’t know! and watch this video! (click here) You should be embarrassed if you don’t!

I will however talk about his fan club page. (click here) Firstly it looks like a little girl decorated it. Check out those sparkles. Secondly, under the first picture it says it’s “Robert’s Talking Page” what ever that is, and under that it says, “I hope we meet us there!” There are fifty members. It seems slightly cultish.

I actually got more information on Robert here however than on wikipedia or anywhere else. Scroll down for the bio if you want to find out more. He seems like a decent man with a good sense of humor.

So I’m not really wasting much time here. It’s been awhile since I have updated and Robert Davi is a good place to get things started again. On a scale from 1 to 5, Robert gets a 5. Just click (here) and look at his face. It’s very possible he washes his face with sandpaper and battery acid. I think Robert greatly utilizes his acne scars as an actual acting device. He is beautifully visually unique and also appears to be decomposing.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

AWAS: Danny Trejo will beat you to death

"Everybody that knows me now that used to know me back in the day says that I was just so intense , but when you're carrying a .44 Magnum I guess you do become pretty intense."*

I am willing to bet that Danny Trejo's penis has acne scars, and a mustache. Danny Trejo is probably one of the most distinguishable movie villains in the biz. He has about 150 movies under his belt and also many television appearances. It seems, in recent history; he usually appears in about 5 to 10 movies a year. Mostly playing a biker and or a convict. When he arrives on screen his presence is not ignored. Impossible to ignore! His face is a layered beautiful masterpiece of hardness, darkness, danger and pain! He can appear to be a hulking mass of anger. A raging testosterone bomb ready to run eagerly through a daily errand list of raping your mother, kicking a dog into a wall, choke slamming mugs, and standing close to large explosions. Or he can appear to be a quiet, world weary warrior, both wise and humble, ready to guide you out of rough predicaments. For example, he may get you out of a prison rape situation. Then again he may be the conductor of your brutal prison rape. It depends on what movie he is in.

"A lot of times I don't even know the names of them. I just show up. From 1985, when I first started, to 1990, I did a shitload of B-movies about prisons. They would always say, 'Get that Mexican guy with the big tattoo.' I'd show up and I'd have one line, like, 'Kill 'em all!' or somethin'."*

Danny didn't always want to be an actor. No. Danny started out as a promising boxer. This dream was eclipsed however by a long prison sentence. Actually a few prison sentences. During most of his youth, when he was not boxing, his hobbies were drug dealing, drug addiction, and armed robbery. I doubt he pursued these endeavors thinking it was “cool”. He most likely viewed these fields of work as his only way to get ahead. Growing up in the Echo Park neighborhood of Los Angeles, Danny was a son of a construction worker. “The only things that were available to me were either be a laborer or be a drug dealer. So I became an armed robber. It was a lot simpler." *

A large portion of Danny’s youth was spent in prison. Tracy (1963-65), San Quentin (1965-68), Soledad (1968-69). And while in San Quentin he became the California state prison boxing champion in both light weight and welter weight divisions. He also began to turn his life around. Once being dedicated to one side of the extreme he began to move to other side and became a dedicated mentor and speaker to those trying to get out of the criminal life. He is now a husband, father of three, and a steady working actor. He often says that he chooses criminal roles to show kids what happens to people wrapped up in the criminal lifestyle. This is apparent in his films as most of his characters get killed. This is beautifully illustrated in here: (youtube video).

Trejo doesn’t seem to be overly preoccupied with his hard ass actor image, but he does seem to have a low tolerance of actors who get wrapped up in their characters. “I've seen guys take this stuff way too seriously. I've had to pull a couple of them aside and say, 'Listen, I will beat you to death , I don't know who you think you're talking to.' They go, 'But I'm in character!' And I say, 'Well, your character's about to get his ass beat.” *

Okay, face rating time. Danny is seriously scarred. In any close up picture of Danny there are large amounts of deep circular indents. The screaming ghosts of past boils and pimples! I imagine that the puss from a Danny Trejo zit could melt through metal or possibly spawn into a tiny demon. I am rating him a 4 on the AWAS scale of 1 to 5. I would go fully to 5 but I am taking into consideration that a lot of these scars are probably the result of boxing, wrestling and destroying grizzly bears or getting shot in the face.

Here’s a Czech Commercial starring Danny. I don’t know what’s being said but I think he raped that guy then stole his car.

*Quotes taken from an interview in The Guardian with Damon Wise. Read it by clicking here.
Other info gathered from Wiki and IMDB

Thursday, January 1, 2009

AWAS: James Woods would rather have a pitchfork in his eyes

“I'm tired of the Actors' Studio bullshit that has ruined movies for 40 years. All these guys running around pretending they are turnips or whatever the hell they do. You just play the character as he really is. As a loudmouth, blowhard, coward, shithead. You know, it's OK to be just who the guy is.”
-James Woods in response to a question about his process of acting and acting in general.

Who better to start with than James Woods. James has graced the sliver screen for nearly three decades. He’s played everything. Murderous lunatics (The Onion Field), cowardly unstable drug addicts (Casino, The Boost), badass heroes (Cop, John Carpenter’s Vampires), the wimpy everyman pushed to the edge (Next Door*) and that’s only a few roles in his impressive catalog of roles.

Woods didn’t always want to be an actor. He in fact originally intended on becoming a fighter pilot! It’s true.
“Woods, an army brat, had been accepted to attend the United States Air Force Academy with the intention of becoming a fighter pilot. But, several weeks before he was to depart, Woods suffered an accident involving a plate glass window which injured his hand tendons severely enough to result in his acceptance being retracted.”- taken from Wikipedia.

I want to know what happened with the plate glass window. Did he ram his fist through it in a fit of rage? Did it fall on him? What? Anyway check out his brain power:
"Woods received a score of 1580 on the SAT, which included a perfect score of 800 on the verbal section of the test.[3] He chose to pursue his undergraduate studies at MIT, where he majored in political science (though he originally planned on a career as a surgeon). While at MIT, Woods pledged to Theta Delta Chi Fraternity. Woods reportedly has an I.Q. of 180 or 184 (Stanford-Binet) and is a member of Mensa " -taken from Wikipedia.

He’s also courted around numerous Hollywood starlets. Dana Delany, Sean Young, Teri Hatcher, Heather Graham, Nicolette Sheridan, Lauren Holly. Sean Young reportedly stalked Woods after he ended their relationship. She couldn’t get enough.

Another tidbit about this man. While on a flight to California 5 months prior to 9/11 woods witnessed and reported suspicious behavior coming a from a few passengers. It turns out they were terrorists doing a practice run. "I took it upon myself to go to the flight attendant and asked to speak to the pilot of the plane," Woods said. "The first officer came out. I reported to him that I felt that these four men ... I said, 'I think they're going to hijack this plane.' Since then I have identified for sure two of them [on my flight] as two of the terrorists who actually were not on Flight 11, but one was on Flight 175 and one was on Flight 77."
It's true! Look it up.

And what does James Woods fear about our future?

"My nightmare in life, my absolute fundamental, overwhelming, egregious nightmare, is Bill Gates' vision of the future, where there will be a video camera on every corner and every conversation will be recorded. Man, I'd rather put a pitchfork in my eyes than live in a world like that." - taken from IMDB quotes.

Is that really Bill Gates' "vision"? Judging from Woods' impressive brain muscles and terrorists spotting skills maybe it is.

Now, down to business. Acne scars! Where to slap Woods on a scale from 1 to 5. None of James' scars are deep. However he is thoroughly peppered with tiny visible indents. I really want to rate him as a 3 just because he is truly a colorful person, but I think I'd have to honestly place him at 2.5 on the acne scar scale. His face has the skin of a worn football or basketball perhaps. That may be too harsh but think of any leather surface with tiny little pinpricks (or pitchfork pricks) and you got Woods' face. How does it enhance his appearance on screen? Greatly. That's how much.

Check out this scene from the film "Cop" (Spoiler Alert! it's the last scene of the film)

*'Next Door' is a great movie that I think was made for Showtime sometime in the 90s. Woods plays a wimpy school teacher who is bullied by Randy Quiad who I wish had acne scars but I have no evidence that he does or else he would be included here.

Monday, December 1, 2008

AWAS: An Introduction

Welcome! This site was constructed with the intention of honoring the numerous actors who have battled with the skin disease acne vulgaris (commonly known as acne) and have been branded with its scars.

I am a movie lover and I've always appreciate an interesting face. A strange face. A grizzled face. An intense face you know? I like a face with character. I like wrinkles, deformities, and savage dirty facial hair. I like when a face is dimly lit, and you can see large shadows crisscrossed over the deeply mangled mug.

I also, have been battling acne for some time. Although it has not severely scarred my face it has left behind wounds of war. I began to appreciate these wounds. Around this time I also began to notice that this particular facial stamp covered a wide range of talented actors. In addition, some of these actors covered a wide range of characters in their work. From sniveling weasels, to the most chiseled heroes. I began to take note.

According to Wikipedia, Acne scars come in 4 categories.
“Physical acne scars are often referred to as "Icepick" scars. This is because the scars tend to cause an indentation in the skin's surface.

Ice pick scars
- Deep pits, that are the most common and a classic sign of acne scarring.
Box car scars
- Angular scars that usually occur on the temple and cheeks, and can be either superficial or deep, these are similar to chickenpox scars.
Rolling scars
- Scars that give the skin a wave-like appearance.
Hypertrophic scars
- Thickened, or keloid scars."

I think I will mainly stick to a 1 to 5 rating scale. 1 being lightly peppered, 5 being English Muffin face. This is by no means a way to merely poke fun at these actors. This is a dedication. Also it is to encourage any aspiring actors out there that may feel their chances of landing that first role is hindered due to their acne scarring. Man fuck that. Let me throw this scenario at you. Let’s say you are a casting director, and you are searching for someone to fill the role of “Thug # 2: Bobo” in a big action movie. “Thug # 2: Bobo” is going to crash his motorcycle in through a store front window in a crazy fan of glass debris. He’s going to wave a big machete around and order the cashier to empty out the register into his bag. Then he is going say something like, “Bobo like pretty lady!” before attempting to rape the leading female character. He will then get shot down gloriously by the hero while volcanic eruptions of blood dramatically explode from his chest. It may even happen in slow motion. You got two guys auditioning for the role. Both equally looking the part but, oh man, one crucial difference. One has acne scars and the other does not. Who do you think the casting director is going to go with? That’s right.

If you would like to recommend your favorite acne scarred actor, please send an email to: